Thursday, June 26, 2008

Like a Knot on a Log

I used the wrong criteria with which to choose a husband. Instead of choosing a loving, caring, handsome, smart, faithful man, I should have chosen based on one thing.... Is he a lighter sleeper than me? His alarm is forever going off in the morning, NEVER bothering him, and keeping me up with the constant snoozing and snoozing and more snoozing.
This morning was the worst--his alarm went of 1/2 hour before mine, and continued to buzz for the next 30 minutes, every 5 minutes. Needless to say, I was less than happy with him. So, I thought I'd exact a little revenge--after getting out of the shower, I flipped the overhead light on, hoping he'd wake up.
NADA--not so much as a squint.
So then, I decided to stomp through the house.....not a FLINCH! Then, I decided to pull the covers from his body............THE BOY DIDN'T MOVE! By this time I was incredulous at how much of a heavy sleeper he is, and truly wanting to strangle him in his sleep for it. I decided to dry my hair and leave the bathroom door open.....shortly thereafter, he rolled over and opened his eyes, but I'm pretty sure it was just a coincidence, not me being successful at waking his butt up. From now on, I've decided I'm just going to roll him from the bed in the mornings, and let the floor wake him, he he he.
Lesson Learned: Pick a husband based on who is the lighter sleeper (j/k)
What it's Worth: An extra 30 min, 45 min, whatever of sleep each night.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

God Sent a Rainbow

In the span of two days, I've seen a real rainbow, seen a picture of a double rainbow (on the screen at church), and heard somebody as I was walking by mention the word rainbow.

I think it's a sign.

When I saw the rainbow, I did think it was a message and a promise from God. It sent calming, peaceful feelings, and I had a sense of "Don't worry, this won't happen again." I hope I'm reading the signs correctly.

Today in church, they had a rainbow up on the projector just because. So I decided to look up the part of the Bible where God explains His meaning behind the rainbow.
Genesis 9:7-17
"...As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it." Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him: "I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you and with every living creature that was with you--the birds, the livestock and all the wild animals, all those that came out of the ark with you--every living creature on earth. I estabilsh my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."
And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come:
I have set my R A I N B O W in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never agian will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."
So God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth."
I've had a flood recently, and been found wanting of a rainbow. I finally got it this weekend, literally.
Lesson Learned--God does send us messages to say "I'm here, I love you, I'm watching, and here's my promise."
What it's Worth--Security

Friday, June 6, 2008


For those wondering if I'm dying of cancer or something, be relieved, I am not. This something I speak of which is going on is not something that would threaten life or limb, just a something that was acutely painful and will be remembered the rest of my life as such. I'm doing ok, I'll be ok. Just taking some time.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008


Well, I've been dealing with something that I really don't want to describe in detail online, but let's just say that it's been emotionally and physically difficult. Some people know about it, others have absolutely no clue, and for those who don't know about it, I'll probably keep it that way as I don't necessarily want to divulge the info in anything that might be construed as an attempt at pity or sympathy. At this point, I feel if I were to tell somebody about it, then it would feel to me as if that would be the purpose of telling somebody--just to have them feel sorry for me.

This time has been spent trying to take care of myself and still deal with school, and I feel that I'm stretched and challenged by walking the fine line of paying too much service to either one. I know that people might find it ridiculous that I feel guilty for paying too much attention to myself, but it's an ugly truth as to what school has done to me. Feeling this way has somewhat opened my eyes as to how much pathology is involved in school... I've been consumed with it all my life, and I often am enveloped in the idea that focusing everything on school is in effect focusing on myself, but really, this is an illusion. I've felt that school has left me a flat, one-dimensional person who is only capable of having life defined by school.

Perhaps I'm being too hard on myself-- after all, I have a husband, an active role in my church, two dogs, I play soccer and softball, and I occasionally get to do one of my favorite activities--riding horses. But I do feel that I often have a hard time defining myself outside of school, a hard time in finding meaning in my life outside of this educational process which will turn into a career which will define me as well.

If I had any readers (haha) I'd pose this question-- how do you find balance? On Oprah's re-run today she was talking to Justin Timberlake (one of my FAVES!) about celebrities having a hard time not letting "What you do" define "Who you are" I don't think that it's just celebrities that have a hard time with that---I think everybody does one find definition outside of "what you do" to help answer the "who you are"?

This post is getting really long. Perhaps I'll return sometime soon, I'm still pondering.

Learning Point--sometimes life comes in and awakens us to what's going on, instead of us just floating along the merry way

What it's Worth--I'm sure the worth lies in not having to wake up one day at 50 years old and realize that you've wasted your youth and vibrancy without knowing who you are and what you're truly doing.