Missing the Boat

So, I've not talked much about my plans for having my baby and residency on here, but I think that I have referenced it some. Normally, residency starts for everybody July 1. Since my little guy is due July 13th, I'm going to be starting October 1. Before we had to enter our "Rank Order List" for residency--this is where you put in the places you want to go in order--I called my #1 choice and told them about being pregnant and asked if I could start October 1. They were very accepting and willing to work with me, further confirming that it was the residency for me.

Our residency had orientation though, from June 8-June 30th, which was a little anxiety-provoking for me, because they wanted me to be up there to finish orientation which consisted of multiple certifications in medical stuff and lots of sitting around. I was worried because the new city is around 4 hours away from my current city...so if I'd have gone into labor there, panic would have ensued. Thank God though, I did not. So anyhow, we've been back and forth from residency city to our city, and are finally in our city awaiting the birth of the baby boy.

Yesterday was July 1 though. And up until yesterday, I felt included, like I was doing the "new intern" stuff. But, I sat at home yesterday. While all of my friends started seeing patients for the first time as doctors, REAL DOCTORS. No more of the, "HI, I'm so and so, a medical student working with Dr. _______" They got to say, "HI, I'm Dr. _________ . I'll be taking care of you while you're with us."

I must admit, I feel as though I have missed the boat. Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy to have the luxury of taking time off and the blessing of having a baby soon (and a bit scared to death too)...but I just know it's not going to be the same starting October 1st. The nurses and other doctors won't necessarily know that I'm the same as a July 1 intern, my fellow interns will probably be settled in and comfortable with much of the day-to-day operations of the hospital and clinic, and then there will be me...new doctor, new mom, terrified person.