The Type of Worship I Prefer

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' " --Matthew 25:40

Let me say that I'm not writing this to "toot my own horn"--rather, I am writing as a more of a charge to some of the people at my church who disappointed me greatly this weekend, and to show an example of one of the few times where I've actually felt as if I'm doing something for God's glory. This Sunday, I felt as if I were truly worshipping the way that God would have me worship.

As my husband and I were walking into a side entrance (not the main one) of the church building, we saw a homeless man sitting in the windowsill of our building. He had his shoes off, his feet were resting on the ground, his head down, and the open, weeping sores on his grimy feet were glistening in the sun. I commented to Ryan about his feet and how horrible they looked--Ryan didn't have much to say. We weren't the only people who walked through those doors that morning, but I wonder if I was the only one to notice.

It angers me to think back on it. God clearly expects us to take care of people just like this man--so I was wondering, why was nobody reaching out to help him? I know some people didn't see him because they used different entrances into the church, fine...but what went through the heads of those who walked by?

• Were they condemning, thinking "That guy's probably a homeless drunk--look at him here waiting for a handout! He's making our church look bad-maybe we should call the police to run him off."
• Were they more worried about themselves, considering "Oh, well, I guess I could help him, but I might get my clothes or the church dirty if I brought him inside."
• Maybe they were sympathetic, wishing "If I only knew what to do for him, I would do something...but I don't think I have the skills. Poor guy..."

I don't know which of the above applied, but honestly, I think that had a dog or cat been sitting outside in such shape, somebody would have given it attention immediately. I don't know what it is about people that we are less forgiving and less willing to help out. Perhaps it's that we think that people have done something to deserve what they get, or that they can help themselves out of situations. And I'll admit... I'm guilty of these thoughts many times.

Regardless, this man needed help, and I couldn't very well go and claim to worship God while this man was sitting outside suffering. Some people believe that Jesus or angels present themselves as people in trouble needing help...I don't know if I believe in all of that, but I certainly knew that God was watching me and honestly, I think He was testing me. I went inside, sat my things down, and went to the First Aid room we have (yep, we have one!) to see what supplies were available. I felt we had enough to be able to bandage the man up, so I went outside in tears and introduced myself and offered to clean his feet for him. By this point, I was trying to not bawl-- my pregnancy hormones + frustration + compassion for this man were coming out of my tear ducts.

He said he just needed some socks because his shoes had been rubbing places on his feet, but he would be ok with getting them bandaged up. I brought him into the church, sat him down, and talked to him for a bit. His name was Roger, he was originally from Mt. Sterling, but had been put in a psychiatric hospital in town for 2 months and then I guess just discharged to the streets...he had been in our city since December, and he'd never been homeless before. He said he used to have some good Red Wing boots that didn't bother his feet, but that somebody took them, and he was left with cheap shoes and no socks.

I soon did get some help from other people at the church--one guy was a paramedic, he got me some soapy water and towels. One lady who is a nurse helped bandage his feet with me...and one of the assistant ministers went and got him a few things that would be helpful on the streets, including some other shoes, some gift cards to fast food places, and some socks. And then there were the few who poked their heads in, kinda said hello, and disappeared into the not so dirty, stinky, unpleasant, and real areas of the church--back to greeting those in suits and dresses I guess.

As we left church that day, I saw Roger back out on the sidewalk--he had said he figured he'd sit out there for a while--he didn't know what he was going to do that day. As it rained that evening, I thought of him, hoping he'd found at least a small patch to stay dry in.

Lessson Learned--God gives us opportunities to show our love for Him all the time, we just have to look around us and accept those opportunities. He might even want us to be uncomfortable or get dirty every now and then.

What it's Worth--Knowing that what I did wasn't just for that man, or for me...it was for Jesus.

God Second-Thinks?

So, I've been reading 1Samuel some. It's about how David got put into the position of "being a man after God's own heart." Good story. I've not finished it yet, but still, I know it's a good story. But the other night, I was reading and I was surprised by something I read.

Now, this doesn't happen much-- not surprise/shock. The most probable and correct assumption would be that I don't read the Bible enough then. But ususally, I do have something that speaks to me or is unexplicably wise, but usually not surprised. Here it is---

1Samuel 15:35: "And the Lord was grieved that he had made Saul king over Israel."

My first response was "Wow, really? The Creator of the Universe was sad that he did something?" I mean, he's omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent... He knew what the outcome would be before the world was even made, yet even then, He was sorry that He did it. He doesn't answer to anybody, has no obligations to fulfill, and can do whatever He pleases.

The Israelites had asked that God give them a king. He tried to indicate that even though they thought they did, they didn't want to be like all the other kingdoms, but they insisted--and got Saul, who was awful. All this time, God was planning on putting David in after Saul. So, if Saul was the means to the end to get David in, then why would He be sorry?

This is one of the times where I wish I knew Hebrew. I'd like to understand the nuance of grieved. Was God grieved because of all the trouble His choice was causing Him? (like, needing to do more work to fix it?) Was God grieved that He was seeing His children make a bad choice, which He granted? Was He just grieved that He'd made a bad decision? But how could it be a bad decision/mistake if He knew the outcome and could have prevented it in the first place?

Ok, my head is spinning now, but you get the point.

If God was grieved over a decision He made, I wonder what other times that He grieved/grieves in the same way? I'm sure there was grieving over Jesus' death on the cross, but at the same time joy.

Lessoned Learned: Maybe sometimes God isn't so happy with all of the things He decides to do.

What it's Worth: It's worth knowing that I have a God who understands what grieving over a decision is like, and He's here to comfort me through it, and He's got a plan further down the line that's better.

God Sent a Rainbow

In the span of two days, I've seen a real rainbow, seen a picture of a double rainbow (on the screen at church), and heard somebody as I was walking by mention the word rainbow.

I think it's a sign.

When I saw the rainbow, I did think it was a message and a promise from God. It sent calming, peaceful feelings, and I had a sense of "Don't worry, this won't happen again." I hope I'm reading the signs correctly.

Today in church, they had a rainbow up on the projector just because. So I decided to look up the part of the Bible where God explains His meaning behind the rainbow.

Genesis 9:7-17

"...As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it." Then God said to Noah and to his sons with him: "I now establish my covenant with you and with your descendants after you and with every living creature that was with you--the birds, the livestock and all the wild animals, all those that came out of the ark with you--every living creature on earth. I estabilsh my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."

And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come:

I have set my R A I N B O W in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never agian will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth."

So God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth."

I've had a flood recently, and been found wanting of a rainbow. I finally got it this weekend, literally.

Lesson Learned--God does send us messages to say "I'm here, I love you, I'm watching, and here's my promise."

What it's Worth--Security

Motion Proves Life

So it's been a while. Now I'm procrastinating doing some more reading this morning--what better way than to blog!

I've got to write about this patient that I had at the VA though--and how church the next Sunday made me think about him again.

So, there's this guy who came in for something totally unrelated, but when we were going through his medical history, part of which includes history of transfusions, his wife goes, "Oh yeah, I'm sure you had some transfusions in Germany, right?" And then she proceeds to say that....

He was in a car wreck and "The coroner found a pulse."

I immediately respond with, "The coroner? Was he in the morgue?!"

They respond, "Yes, he was pronounced DEAD at the scene, was taken to the MORGUE, and then the coroner found a pulse on him--then he went to the hospital."

The patient: "Yeah, I didn't know who I was for about 11 days."

Just like that, matter of fact, they didn't seem too impressed by the whole thing, but geeze, how many people can say that they've met somebody who took a trip to the morgue in a body bag and then survived to tell the tale? CRAZY!

So then, in church, our minister is talking about a passage out of James-- 2:14-26, and about how "Motion Proves Life"--that we have to have both our faith (the part without much motion) and works (the motion part of our Christian life) to prove that we are alive in our faith, alive in the promises that God has given us. Proof of life is the guarantee that death has not occurred, and motion is usually the proof of life needed.

My patient was motionless (almost) and then his heart was able to say, "Wait, I'm still moving! I'm still alive!"

I've felt alot of times that I'm like that patient as far as my faith and works go. I feel like there's barely anything there, and I'm in the morgue, but then somebody may come around and at least check for a pulse--and feel a faint one. I'm glad there's a faint one there, but I know that a faint pulse doesn't usually last too long on its own. I want to show that I'm alive, and I hope that I do. I spend alot of time on the morgue slab of school though.

Lesson Learned--Check for a pulse (maybe multiple times). Patients have weird stories to tell us, usually stories completely unrelated to what they're being treated for currently. Look for opportunities for those stories to connect to some real-life things

What it's worth--It's worth is in being reminded that I shouldn't just merely let a faint pulse just get me by.