Sunday, September 7, 2008


I've just come to understand something about myself. I guess I knew it before, but this evening, I just figured out how to put it into words.

One of the best ways to frustrate and disappoint me is to refuse to address an issue that I expect some discourse on.

I might say something, bring up a topic, or put it in an email, and if said listener or reader doesn't respond appropriately (or, with something that I deem appropriate) I quickly become frustrated, angry, disappointed, and possibly even paranoid.

So then, I sit and seethe, and play out the possibilities as to why said person may not have responded to me. All the while, they sit there probably pleasantly ignorant as to my internal turmoil that bubbles into a bad mood.

What can I even do about it though? It's not like I can FORCE somebody to share their thoughts (or non-thoughts) with me about whatever it is I'm wanting to discuss. Sometimes I'm sure it would be best for me just not to say anything at all. If there's no discussion, then there are no expectations of what the discussion will be or what goals it will achieve. Usually though, one would expect that when Person A says something like "I wonder about this" or "I thought ______ about that" or "I'm (sad, angry, frustrated, happy, disappointed, joyous, excited) about __________" That the natural human response would be to address the thought or the emotion.

Lesson Learned: Stop having expectations about how people might behave.

What It's Worth: Not being frustrated by unmet expectations.


selay2 said...

As I review our e-mail correspondence, Is there something you'd like to talk about?

Raquela said...

I know the feeling... =}